NICU Graduates

We are so fortunate that my mom was able to come out here for the past month.  I'm not sure what we would have done without her.  She took care of me after my c-section.  She did our laundry.  She cooked and cleaned.  She took Jack and Luke to the park and watched them everyday so that Jay and I could be at the hospital with the babies.  I'm 30 years old and I still need my mom :) 

We took her to Gettysburg because we wanted her to get to do something fun while she was here.  We had a great time!  My dad came out last week to see the babies and to collect my mother :)  Jack and Luke were so happy to have Grandpa around for a few days :)  They left on Saturday and we have been on our own for two days.  It feels a little weird.  Luckily, Grandma Holly is coming tomorrow!  The boys are so excited and we are so grateful that we have family to help us until the babies come home :)

This week, our boys graduated from the NICU!!!  WAHOO!!!  They are now in the Intermediate Care Nursery.  Basically, they have the same care as they did in the NICU, but the babies in the IMC are more stable and really just there to finish growing :)  We are so pleased with their progress!

Jay and Charlie.  Don't be fooled by the size of him.  There are 2 blankets wrapped around him.  He is still the size of a squirrel :)

 

 Tripp holding my hand.

 

Here is Charlie without his nasal cannula!!  He was breathing without it for about 2 days, but his oxygen saturation wasn't staying high enough so he had to go back on.  At least his sore little nose got a break for a few days.  

  

 Here is our little corner of the NICU.  It really is starting to feel like a second home.  Even the security guards recognize us.  We are becoming part of the hospital family :)

 

Tripp also had to go back on the nasal cannula.  He was off for about 4 days, but they just get really tired of doing it all on their own.  His red blood cell count was also low, so he had to have a blood transfusion.  That has helped his oxygen levels quite a bit, so hopefully he can try again without the cannula.  He LOVES his binky!  Which is a good sign that he might be able to try bottle feeding soon.

(Charlie loves his binky too, but he gets distracted by it and forgets to breathe :)  He hasn't learned to multitask yet.)

Charlie after his bath getting his hair combed.  So cute!

When I hold the boys together, they throw a few punches, make a few squeaks, and then they calm down and snuggle right in :)  They are such boys.  Wrestle = Love.  (Charlie on the left, Tripp on the right)

Tripp is now 3 lbs. 9 oz. and Charlie is 3 lbs. 4 oz.  What little chubbers! 

As for these two, yes, they still exist :)  Unfortunately they aren't getting much blog time.  They have been such troopers through this whole thing.  Jack has been such a great brother to Luke.  They really are great friends. 

Jack has been busy perfecting his dance moves.  He really is pretty good.  Once things calm down I should think about getting him into something.  And Luke has become obsessed with the Lumineers song "Ho Hey".  He walks around the house all day yelling, "Ho!!  Hey!!!"  They are pretty cute and we can't wait for our house to be overrun with all of our little men soon :)

Twinner Reunion

I can't even explain how crazy life is.  You just never know what is going to come next.  I suppose that is what keeps one from getting bored.   We have gone through a couple of roller coaster-moments in the past few weeks.   One day we are elated, the next day we are deflated.  I think this may be exactly what I needed.  I am such a planner and a control freak that it is good for me to learn to roll with the punches. 

We survived the hurricane!  We had a ton of rain and a few pretty good wind gusts, but really, that is about all we got.  We are so grateful as so many others were not as fortunate as us.  I don't think I have ever prayed so hard for the power to stay on.  We just bought a deep freezer to store all of the milk I pumped.  I didn't want all of those hours to go wasted.  We had one flicker of the lights and that was it.   We weren't able to go up to the hospital for a couple of days because Baltimore was partly flooded, but the nurses kept me well informed during the hurricane and they assured me that if their power went out, they had generators to keep the babies alive :)

Jack and Luke aren't allowed in the NICU so they haven't seen the babies yet.  Jack begged for us to take him to the hospital where he promised to wait quietly in the waiting room :)  We agreed to his terms and decided to have a fun outing on the way up.   We drive right through downtown Baltimore and the Inner Harbor to get to the hospital.  The harbor is lined with shops and restaurants and huge ships.  We took the boys to see the ships and have lunch.  Jack was in heaven.  Luke was mad that we wouldn't let him run around.  We took the boys to the hospital and Jack realized that waiting in the waiting room was pretty boring and it was ok for us to visit the babies without him next time :)

The babies have really been doing great.  A couple of weeks ago, the doctor told us that both boys have spiculated red blood cells.  Meaning, they aren't perfect circles.  They look like they have little bites taken out of them.  Most premature babies have some of these funny looking cells.  Usually around 5% of their red blood cells look like that.  Our babies have about 50% that look weird.  This put the doctors on alert and they started doing a few tests.  Jay and I both had our blood checked to see if we have that, which we don't.  So, they were concerned that the babies had a lipid disorder.  After a few consults with the doctors, I still had no idea what they were looking for or what any of it meant.  All I knew was that it could mean some really scary things for the babies.  We went through a week of worry and fear and sadness.  It was terrifying.  We prayed and prayed, and our families prayed and we fasted and we prayed some more.  Finally, the results came back and they were normal.

I have never felt such relief.  So, they still have weird shaped red blood cells, but they don't have the really scary disease :)  We will follow up with a Hematologist after they are discharged to make sure all is well with them.

The babies have the best nurses and doctors.  They are so intuitive and they really care about our boys.   Both Tripp and Charlie are busy babies.  They are excellent at pulling their feeding tubes out.  It frustrates their nurses, but they are impressed by their coordination :)  They can also move around quite a bit in their isolettes, which screws with their vitals.  The nurses have to strap them down to get them to stay put, so that the boys can sleep and grow :) 

Here is Tripp fast asleep.  Finally holding still. 

And here is Charlie.

And Charlie again.  They are growing so much that they have to keep going up in sizes for their hats.  They also graduated from ultra-preemie diapers to regular preemie diapers!  Wahoo!!

Here is Tripp trying to roll over.  I kept moving him and then he would just throw his head back where it was.  He knows what he wants I guess!

Here is Charlie in his seashell bikini :)  

Tripp made a giant leap this week and came off of his nasal cannula!  He is breathing completely on his own and doing very well so far!  There is a small possibility that he will have to go back on it because preemies get tired so fast and sometimes they need a break.   But, we are so proud of him :)  Plus, he is sooooo darling without all of that stuff shoved up his nose and taped around his face!

My mom got to hold Tripp today.  I think she is smitten with him.  How could she not be?  Both boys have what the nurses call a "toaster head".  Tripp's is worse than Charlie's.  Because it is easier for them to breathe lying on their bellies, their heads are always to the side.  The nurses are good about making sure they have equal time on each side of their head, but it just gets a little flat looking....like a piece of toast.  Eventually when they breathe better and they sleep on their backs, their heads should round out a bit.  Haha!

Doesn't he look like a little old man?  They even have wrinkly butts :)  So cute.

The big news today is that the babies were finally reunited with each other!!  They have had another baby between their isolettes in the NICU, so they haven't been able to be together.  Today the nurses moved their beds next to each other and I got to hold them both at the same time!! It was so precious to see them together.  They looked into each others eyes and made little noises....and then they held hands!!!!  Such a sweet little moment that I got to be there for.  However, holding two babies is not easy.  In fact, it is down right hard.  It is going to take a lot of practice.

Both boys are starting to put some weight on!  Charlie is 2 lb. 13 oz. and Tripp just hit 3 lbs! I go in every day to drop off my milk.  I'm like a personal dairy.   I'm thinking of going into business.  Anyone on the way to Baltimore that needs fresh milk, just leave a milk box outside and $20 :)

Boys, Boys, Boys

 What a whirlwind the past two weeks have been!  I think my head may finally have stopped spinning long enough to update the blog :)

We have been so blessed the past two weeks.  I can't even begin to count how many wonderful things we have experienced since the babies came.   Our new ward has been amazing.  We have had babysitters for the older boys and meals brought in so that we still have something to eat while we are trying to get everything done.  My mom has practically run herself ragged trying to take care of all of us.  My sister came out to help me unpack boxes....and now she can't get home because of the hurricane.  Guess she has to stay a little longer :) We have received flowers, food, books, and more prayers than I thought possible.

The babies have really made amazing progress.  I can't believe how tough these tiny little guys are!  They just keep getting hit right and left with new complications and they seem to triumph over and over.  I don't have any doubt in my mind that Heavenly Father is very watchful over them.  They are such miracles.

Both Charlie and Tripp were on SiPAP machines ( a bit different from a CPAP machine, but sort of the same idea) which allowed them to breathe a little on their own and it gave a little assistance.  Both have graduated to a nasal cannula which just has a continuous flow of oxygen.  They are doing all of the breathing on their own!!  Such a huge thing for them :)  Both babies struggled with episodes of apnea.  Charlie more so than Tripp.  They found that both babies have a valve open in their hearts allowing too much blood to go to the lungs causing bouts of apnea.  This is called a PDA.  Both boys were given a medication to help close the valve.  Charlie's closed during his first round of meds and they can't hear a murmur at all anymore.  Tripp has had 2 rounds of meds and his murmur is still there.  However, he is doing so well breathing on his own that they are going to let it go to see if it finishes closing on its own.

They have also started the babies on breastmilk!  They have both tolerated their feedings really well.  Since their digestive systems are so immature, they have to start off with such a small amount of food to see if they can actually digest.  So far, so good!  Plus, most importantly, it is helping to put some weight back on them!  They lost weight for a little while, but they are both now back to their birth weights!  Yay babies!

We have also been able to hold them a few times!  With preemies, it is hard for them to regulate their temp.  The hospital keeps their beds quite warm and humid to keep their temps normal.  So, when we hold them, they can get cold really fast.  We have to take the hypothermia approach with them and pretty much just get naked.  Ha!  It is called Kangaroo care and evidently works miracles.  Both babies love it and their temperatures stay really stable.  Plus, it allows us to bond a little which is so hard when I only get to see them once a day.

The nurses have a joke about white baby boys.  Apparently they are the wimpiest when it comes to preemies.  They always give the nurses the hardest times, so whenever they have a set back, the nurses say, "He's just a wimpy white boy.  Give him time".  Ha!

This is Charlie in his milk coma.  The orange tube in his mouth is his feeding tube.  They shoot the milk straight into their tummies.  He loves it!

 Here is Tripp!  Isn't he so cute?!  We tried not to get too much of me in the picture since I'm nakie :)

Tripp loves being held.  He is our calm baby.  He is so relaxed and sweet.  He kept trying to lick me so I guess his instincts are trying to kick in :)

Mouth open searching for a hand-out. He is also the pig of the two.  He is on 15 cc's of milk every 3 hours.  Charlie is only on 10.  

Jay trying to give you an idea of their size.  Check out Tripp's binky.  It is so huge, but he loves it.  It is actually preemie sized and still almost as big as his head.

 Charlie holding momma.  I have less pictures of Charlie since he wasn't as stable as Tripp for a while.  He mostly just stayed in his isolette.  However, since his PDA closed, he is much more stable and we get quite a bit more time with him :)

Charlie relaxed after I held him.  He is our busy one.  He always gets out of his little nest that the nurses make and he screws up his oxygen.  He is a mover and a wiggler :)

 Last night I held Charlie for almost an hour.  It was pure bliss.  Our babies couldn't be much sweeter.

Tripp under his phototherapy lights.  They go on and off of them as their bilirubin levels climb and drop.  Binky and sunglasses...so darling :)

Charlie in his too big hat.  

Tripp all snuggled in for the night.

 Jay doesn't want to do kangaroo care.  He says he needs a tan, a shaved chest and a cowboy hat before he is getting undressed in front of the nurses :)  Ha!  Vanity.

Jack and Luke are hanging in there.  We are trying to keep things as normal as possible.  It is pretty difficult to have your children in 2 different places and get enough time with all of them.   They have been patient and sweet through this.  Jack is sad that he can't see the babies.  Luke has absolutely no idea what is going on.

Jack really wanted to be a ghost for Halloween.  Probably the easiest costume on Earth.  Bless him for being so obliging this year :)  Luke was a Robin Hood repeat.  He looked just as cute as Jack did in it 2 years ago :)

People bringing meals have kept us stocked up on cake.  How did they know it is our favorite!?

 Jack and Luke scooping guts out of pumpkins :)  Jack was grossed out.  Luke was in messy kid heaven.

 Good thing he is so cute because he is trouble!

 Jack has been our rock.  Every night we head to the NICU and he says, "Tell Tripp that I love him and tell Charlie that Luke loves him".  He has already assigned babies to each brother.  Pretty cute :)

Please continue to keep the babies in your prayers.  They have a few other issues to work out before they are out of the woods.  It is also pretty common for preemies to take 2 steps forward and 1 step back.  The nurses told us to get our rollercoaster shoes on :) 

And pray that the hurricane doesn't take our power out and destroy the freezer full of milk that I have worked hours on.  Haha!

Tripp and Charlie

This post will be a little different from my normal posts.  I am really lacking in humor and spunk this week, but I need to document our events and keep family up to date.  Bear with me until I can get back to normal Lindsay :) 

Our babies were born Monday night, October 15th, at 28 weeks and 1 day.   12 weeks early.  Pretty much every mothers worst fear.  I don't usually write my birth stories on my blog because quite frankly I don't feel like my cervix is anyone's business.  But, this time is a little different. 

The boys and I flew into Maryland two weeks ago to finally be reunited with Jay and start setting up our new house!  We were so excited to be here and so happy to feel a little more settled.  I didn't get much unpacking done because I have been having a lot of contractions, which is pretty normal for me during pregnancy.  But, this last weekend, I really started to feel run down and tired.  I was having a few more contractions than usual, so I did a lot of resting.  I finally got an appointment set up with an OB here (long story, but it is hard to get an appointment here!) and set it for Wednesday the 17th.  Unfortunately I never made it.  Monday night, Jay took the boys out grocery shopping so I could relax a little.  They came home, we had dinner together and then suddenly I didn't feel well at all.  My contractions were a little uncomfortable so I went to take a bath and slow them down.  It usually works like a charm.  Little did I know that I was way too far advanced in labor for that.  I realized after about 2 minutes that we needed to get to the hospital right away.  Unfortunately we didn't know anyone at all here in MD.  Jay grabbed the kids out of bed, put them in the car and rushed me to the hospital.  We called the Relief Society president of our new ward on the way there so she could watch our kids.  By the time we got to the hospital (7 minutes)  I was trying not to push.  Jay rushed me into L&D where they rushed me into a room only to find I was fully dilated and both babies were feet down.  The hospital laborist rushed me into the OR.  I got my spinal tap and Jay walked in with scrubs on after they had already cut and started to take the babies.  He almost missed it!  Jack and Luke were in the waiting room having apple juice and graham crackers with the nurses so Jay could be with me.  Bless them for doing that. 

Tripp Matthew (Baby A) came out first at 8:45.  He weighed 2 lbs. 9 oz.  I actually don't know either of their lengths, but I think I heard 14 inches.  Charlie Jay (Baby B) came out second at 8:46.  He weighed 2 lbs. 6 oz.  They had two pediatric teams waiting to start caring for the babies.  The hospital that was closest to the house can't keep babies under 32 weeks, so they had to stabilize them enough to be transferred.  While I was being stitched up, I heard both of their sweet little cries.  I can't explain the panic I felt and the helplessness.  They rolled me out of the room before I could even glimpse them.   After what seemed like forever, the babies were finally stable enough to be transferred to another hospital with an absolutely amazing NICU.  They were both intubated and on ventilators.  They had them wrapped up with tubes and wires everywhere.  Each baby had a transport team of 3 people.  They rolled them past my room where I quickly got to meet them.  I had about a minute with each baby.  I couldn't hold them, or touch them, or even really sit up at that point, but the Lord always sends tender mercies.  I said hi to each baby and both of them right on cue, opened their eyes and looked at me.   If I couldn't hold them, then making eye contact was an absolute miracle to me.  They knew I was there and I felt them say, "We are fighting mom, we are strong". 

A sweet friend from Virginia came all the way up to stay with Jack and Luke so that Jay could go up to the hospital with the babies and be close to them.  That was one lonely, awful night in the hospital.  My nurses were so sweet.  They comforted me.  They told me I was strong.  They told me that Heavenly Father was taking care of my babies.  We had many angels attending us that night and I know that Heavenly Father never leaves us completely alone to do it by ourselves. 

My mom flew in the next morning to take over Jack and Luke.  Jay had to go back to work on Wednesday.  We are so grateful she could come on such short notice.  Jay has been so strong.  He has been waking up early to go to work.  Then he comes home and has dinner with the boys and helps put them to bed.  Then he would come to the hospital to see me and collect my pumped milk to take up to the babies.  Then he drives the 45 minutes to the NICU and spends a few hours with the babies.  He is amazing and wonderful and I could never do this without him.

I got out of the hospital yesterday and was able to finally see the babies.  Their nurses have been so wonderful.  I call a few times each day and they give me detailed updates on each baby.  They each have their own nurse that basically just sits and makes sure they are ok.  It is so comforting to me when I can't be there.  

It is hard to be happy and not just scared.  It is hard to be emotionally available for Jack and Luke when I just want to hide in my closet and cry.  Seeing the fat baby in the recovery room next to mine was like the worst torture ever.  I'm pretty sure I glared at the mother, which is not really like me to do.  I hope she didn't take it personally.  Hopefully, with a little time and physical recovery I can start to see the happy sides of this and not be such a head case :)

Now for pictures, because the babies really are so precious.  They look like little skeletons, but they are still our sweet little Tripp and Charlie.  I know this will be an excruciatingly long process, but I do have faith in the Lord's plan and I can feel his love for each of our babies. 

This is Tripp on the first night.  Here he is on a ventilator.  Both babies made huge progress breathing on their own and were moved onto SiPap machines built especially for preemies.  Tripp is now breathing room air (21% O2) via SiPap and has been holding steady with that!   Both babies are on doses of caffeine to stimulate them to breathe.  They don't really have the breathing reflex yet, so sometimes they forget that they are supposed to be breathing :)  The caffeine helps them to be a little more alert.

Tripp again on night one.  

Charlie on night one.  Look at that skinny baby!  His right leg is really bruised from being trapped in the birth canal.  Sorry bud! But, it should heal just fine :)  

Charlie again on the ventilator.   He is also now on a SiPap breathing about 30% O2.  He has some issues with his breathing, but as long as his blood gas level stays normal, they will not have to put him back on the ventilator. 

Both babies are also under phototherapy lights for jaundice.  Their bilirubin levels are climbing so they are getting preventative lights :)  This is Charlie making a fuss because he really hates the eye covers.  He also likes his legs to stick straight out.  He doesn't like to be wrapped up tightly.  I guess he was the one that always had his feet under my ribs :) 

Here is Tripp snuggled up like a little bug.  They are just so precious.

Charlie's legs once again.  He has Jay's feet :)

I got to hold Charlie's hand yesterday.  He grabbed onto my finger and held on so tightly!  Can you believe how small he is!?  I guess he calmed down so much holding my hand that he forgot to breathe.  It took quite a little effort for the nurse to get his stats back in the right direction.  Stinker.  I about had a heart attack.

Tripp under his sweet lights.  The lights turn the boys blue and you can see their little veins everywhere.  Kind of freaked me out at first.  

There is a lot for us to learn and a lot to get used to.  I'm not sure how to be a mother to these little guys.  This is totally foreign to me.  So, for now I pump, and pump and pump.  They may start Charlie tomorrow on milk!  Right now they just have IV nutrition until they can handle more.  It will mean huge things for all of us when they can start having milk. 

Thank you for all of your prayers.  Thank you for fasting.  Thank you for the kind words.  We are so blessed and so happy to have such wonderful support.  Mostly we are blessed to know that these sweet little ones are ours and that we are sealed to them forever.  We are so excited for what the future holds for them :)  They are so brave and so strong.  We are lucky to be their parents. 

Moving!

We are moving back east!  Maryland, to be precise.  Jay has been waiting patiently for his dream job and he finally got it!  We are excited for him to be working in his field!  Jay leaves a week from today.  As soon as we secure a place to live, the boys and I will follow.  It has been a whirlwind around here the past two weeks trying to get things ready to go.  I am excited for a new adventure.  And really nervous to get there and get settled and find a good doctor.   Anyone know anyone reliable in Maryland that can come watch my boys at a moments notice if I go into labor? 

Speaking of labor, hopefully it is still a long way off.  The babies are doing great!  I had another ultrasound last week to track their growth and the little one has caught up a bit!  They did have a 16% difference in weight and this week it was only 9%!!!  Good news for us!  The doctors don't like it to get beyond a 25% difference.  So, it looks like everyone is doing a good job and they have stabilized in their growth.   They both have their heads up under my ribs, and it feels like 4 legs doing the river dance on my bladder.  So bazaar to be pregnant with two!

My mother in law tried to teach me how to sew.  I have been wanting to learn, so we spent the day making car seat covers for the babies.  If you look closely, you can definitely tell which one I did.  Haha!

Won't they be so cute with matching babies inside?!  I can't wait!

Jack started preschool this week.  I figured since we already paid for September, might as well use it :)  I took his picture outside and then went back in to put my camera away.  When I came out, he was halfway down the street.  I asked him where he was going and he said he was walking to school.  I told him to come back so I could drive him since his school is far.  He said, "Ok mom, you can drive me today, but I have to go to school alone.  You have to let me go."  Haha!  I love his independence. 

He loves school and is going to be heartbroken when we have to move.

My friend Emily did our family pictures last week.  I wanted to get them done while it is still just the 4 of us.  They turned out darling, but next time we do family pictures, I would like to be skinny.

She did an amazing job, and the boys really loved her :)

Most likely you won't hear from us until Maryland, so wish us a smooth move!