December, Deschmember

I am behind in pretty much every aspect of my life. Blog included.  December isn't really a great month to do catch up either.  I think that is why January was invented. 

Our sweetie Luke turned 3 at the beginning of December!  He is such a sweet boy.  He is our caring and compassionate child.  He will be the one to take care of us when we are old.  We moved to Utah during his 1st birthday, and his 2nd birthday we were up at the hospital with the babies, so we really wanted to make his 3rd birthday a big deal.  He is very much the middle child.  He often fends for himself and sometimes gets the least attention because the other kids are a little more needy.  He is so laid back and patient.  He was so happy to have a night focused on him.  We are so lucky to have him in our family!

He doesn't really understand presents yet.  He would open one gift and walk off to play with it.  He was confused when we told him he had more presents. 

The babies...oh, the babies.  They are trouble!  They are into everything!  I have lost 5 pounds in the past 3 months just because I can't take my eyes off of them for a minute.  Even to eat.

Charlie climbs whatever he can find.  And then smiles when he gets caught.  He is a little imp.

Tripp somehow snuck a candy cane.  I have no idea how he got it.  But I found him giggly and sticky.  He was so pleased to have his first candy.  He was really mad when I took it away.

The schools and Jay's work closed for snow a few weeks ago, so we had Jack and Jay home.  They cancelled everything before there were even any snowflakes.  

Luke was so excited about his new boots that he couldn't muster putting pants on over them.  We finally convinced him that it would hurt to sled without pants on.  Too bad.  He looked so cute!

Later that snow day we got our Christmas tree!  The boys helped Jay bring it in.  I can just see 10 years from now, all my big boys doing all the heavy lifting for us :)  It is going to be awesome.

Tripp and Charlie tried to help with the Christmas stuff, but mostly just caused mischief.

I'm not sure why we even got a tree.  We have to close it off, otherwise, I would have monkeys climbing it all day. Charlie still manages to get an arm through the gate and shake most of the ornaments off. 

The primary kids performed the Nativity at our ward Christmas party.  Jack was the shepherd and did an excellent job!  We were so proud of his loud, clear, speaking part :)  What a stud.

I Should Be Amish

 My parents came mid-November to visit.  It was so fun to have them here, and of course I didn't take any pictures.  I need a photographer to be around all day to take pictures for me. When Jay strikes it rich, or when he dies and I cash in our insurance policy, I think I'll hire a full time picture taker :)

My mom has wanted to visit Amish country since we first moved to the east coast.  Four years later, we finally did it!  Jay took the day off to stay home with the kids and my mom and I got to go up there all alone!  It was so fun! I love my kids, but car trips and sightseeing with them is probably my least favorite thing to do.

I love churches.  Especially little, old, beautiful ones.  Isn't this one amazing?! It has nothing to do with Amish country.  It's just one of the two pictures I actually took on that trip :)

Here is a darling covered bridge surrounded by Amish farms.  I love the peace and the quiet out there!  Only a few cars and lots of hooves clip-clopping on the pavement.  I think I would like to be Amish.  They eat yummy food.  They work really hard.  They don't fuss about worldly things that don't matter. They live close to their families. They have church at home twice a month. I'm all for it.  I wonder if you can be Mormon/Amish?

Everyday when Jay walks in the door after work, all four boys pounce on him.  They scream, they giggle, they yell dad....Sometimes I am a little jealous of his homecomings :)  When I walk in they say, "Oh man...mom's home."  I sound super fun.  

Even the babies get in on wrestling :)

We have had awful/dangerous folding chairs at our table for years.  I really wanted new chairs.  Jay went around all of the thrift stores searching for something for me.  He came home with these.  Not bad, right?  

I decided that I really wanted pink chairs.  Jay was not on board right away, but he quickly realized I was giving him a project...and he LOVES projects.  It was a win for both of us:) I spent almost three hours at one fabric store trying to find the perfect fabric.  I did.

Jay got the chairs done just in time for Thanksgiving!  Jay's brother and family came all the way from Illinois for the week!  We had a great time! My brother and his family came up from VA for dinner.  I love having a house full of people at Thanksgiving!  It is so boring when it isn't a big production :)

Before the food started we had the 1st annual Durrant Turkey Bowl.  It lasted for about 3 minutes before the kids decided they just wanted to run around and dig in the dirt. Plus, it was really, really cold.

Why is it that one of my kids always looks like Sloth from the Goonies when we take pictures?

The kids helped make rolls and that was it.  Since I am a control freak in my kitchen, that's all I could handle. 

We love having family to visit!  We need to move closer to them. It's getting lonely out here.

It's Autumn Time

Since we have lived on the east coast, fall has quickly become my favorite season. The leaves!  Oh my, I love the colors!  Plus the humidity dies a little and the temperatures are somewhat bearable.  I do have to say that I like to shovel snow more than I like raking leaves.  No critters jump out of snow when you shovel.  But, when you rake leaves, you just never know what is going to spring on you.  Gross.

We have a great back yard and we put the boys to work :)

I LOVE going to the pumpkin patch every year!  It really brings out the country girl in me and helps me get back to my roots :) Hayrides and pumpkins and apple cider doughnuts..what could be better?!

The boys wanted really big pumpkins to carve.  Jack did his entirely on his own.  It is fun to see how capable a five year old is...and a little scary when his capabilities involve a tiny little saw.

Jack and Luke insisted that we all dress up as super heroes this year.  I was a little bummed.  I really wanted to be Mary Poppins and make all the boys be chimney sweeps.  Cute, huh?  I think my days of choosing all the costumes are over.  They have opinions now.  Sigh.

Could the babies be any cuter with these little capes!?

I love all my super heroes. Glad I'm well protected :)

Year Voldemort

We made it.  We survived Year Voldemort....or the Year That Must Not Be Named. Today the babies turn One!  I can't tell if that year was the fastest year ever, or if it went excruciatingly slow. Either way, we did it!  What an exhausting, fabulous, emotional, and beautiful year it was.  It was probably my favorite year, but I never, ever, ever....ever, want to do it again.

A year ago today was probably the scariest day of my life.  I was nervous to have twins, but to have them 12 weeks early, was almost more than I could handle.  Honestly, I felt a little robbed of the experience.  I didn't get to be so humongous that people thought I was going to explode (my body is thankful for that, but my brain is still grumpy), I didn't get to hold my babies after they were born, I didn't get newborn pictures of them, I didn't get to bring them home for months, I didn't get to take them out and show them off, no one could visit them or meet them....I really, really struggled with all of these things.  I put on a brave face, because that's what you do, but I really had a very long mourning process for the things I felt that we missed out on.  There was a day, maybe two weeks after they were born, that I crawled into my closet, shut the door, and sobbed, for at least an hour.  I sobbed while I prayed for them, I sobbed while I grieved what should have been, and I sobbed for how selfish I felt. During my sobfest, I prayed for strength, I bartered my own health for theirs, I made promises of eternal obedience if they would just be okay, and I prayed to know what on Earth I was supposed to learn.

I can happily say, that in my closet that day, I was sent comfort and peace.  I didn't know what Tripp and Charlie's outcomes would be.  I didn't know if they would live long enough for me to raise them, or to take them to soccer games, or go to their science fairs, or send them on missions, or watch them graduate college, but I knew at that moment, that they were mine, and always would be. 

I prayed and prayed to know what I needed to learn from this experience, and today, I can tell you that I am truly grateful for the trials that were sent and for the amazing things I have learned about myself, and more importantly, about our Savior.

1.  The first thing I learned was how to accept help.  I like to do things myself.  My own way.  My own timing.  Suddenly, I couldn't lift anything, drive anywhere, watch my older children, or even make myself a sandwich. I am so grateful for everyone who has lent a hand, an ear, a dinner, and countless other services over the past year.  I am truly blessed and amazed at the generosity and mercy of many of those around me.  People truly are wonderful and kind.

2. The second important lesson I learned is that my trials are minimal.  There are plenty of people around me that have and are going through so much more than I could even imagine. Their strength has been an inspiration to me.  Their attitudes have been something I have tried to emulate.  No matter what difficult thing happens, someone else is going through something harder .

3. I learned about a hundred other lessons, but I feel the most important thing I learned was how to identify with Heavenly Father, and how to more deeply understand what Jesus Christ went through. Heavenly Father sent his precious son to Earth to be sacrificed for the rest of us.  To atone for our sins.  It had to be done.  There wasn't another way for all of His children to return to Him. Heavenly Father knew that Jesus would suffer.  He had to watch it all be done, and not interfere.  It must have been excruciating to watch His child go through something so awful.

When I knew the babies were coming, I knew there was nothing I could do.  It was awful to feel so helpless.  The first time I saw them, I only got to look at them through the glass of their little isolettes where their tiny bodies lay fighting for every breath.  I couldn't stop any of their pain, or their struggles.  I couldn't hold them and kiss them.  I couldn't do anything but whisper to them and tell them that I was there.  I prayed they would have comfort, but that was as much as I could do.  Heavenly Father's love for us and His desire to be with us again after this life must be so great. It is something that is so dear to me.  I am so grateful for my Savior who made it possible for me to return to my Father in Heaven, along with my precious, sweet family.

 

Looking back at the last year, I realize how incredibly blessed we have been.  Our babies are healthy.  They are happy.  They are full of mischief.  They bring us constant joy.  I can't imagine not having them in our family.  They really have such a beautiful bond.  They needed to come from heaven together.  They are such special boys.  I can't wait to see what they accomplish.  They are strong.  They are courageous. They are an unstoppable force.  And they have our whole family wrapped around their darling little fingers.  Happy Birthday, Tripp and Charlie!