There are a few things that I have on my Christmas list each year. New boots, a horse and a gun. In that order. Recently I have discovered that the gun is not just a want, but a need. I am not a gun control freak. In fact, I was born with a Cabela's catalog in my hand and feel that if you know what you are doing, they can be quite useful. Now for the reasons I need a gun....
1. The birds here start at 3:45 am. Not kidding. They chirp, they sing, they do mating calls, they basically make me use a lot more swear words than I like to admit. I don't like birds anyway. I think they are creepy. I think they are too fast, and I think they are show-offs (I'm a little sensitive about not being able to fly) I especially don't like them at 4 am. Here enters the gun. Just a few shots should scare them away and allow me a little more sleep. Am I wrong?
(******Note: If Virginia would cut down some trees, that would certainly help also. Then they would have to live somewhere else....but I digress...)
2. If we lived in a tiny town like Salmon, ID., I wouldn't feel as much necessity for a gun. However, we live in the outskirts of DC in a miniature ghetto. This morning 5 police officers broke down the door to the apartment across the hallway....guns out and ready. They brought out our neighbor in handcuffs in his underwear. While we found this a mite amusing, I realize our neighbors are nothing like Mr. Rogers. So, a gun for a little protection may not be the worst idea. I feel like my candlesticks would be ok for hand to hand combat, but a gun would be better for the scare factor.
3. Lastly, if the world ever does come to an end and the grocery stores are empty and everyone is looting, I would like to feel that I could keep my family meat-stocked in the wild :) Turkey and pheasant mostly....thus helping the bird overpopulation.
And there you have it. So, if any of you know Santa....or a Cabela's rep....you know what to tell them :)
What we believe.....
Jay
Jay's first loves are basketball and Colorado, but only because he knew them before me. He has a Superman complex and wants to save the world.
Lindsay
I get to relive my childhood each day playing with our boys. I have a great time watching movies, playing with blocks and taking naps. But when Jay is home I pretend that I am a grown-up :)
Jack
Jack is our #1. He loves basketball and hand sanitizer. He wants to grow up to be a builder, an electrician, and a dressage rider.
Luke
Luke is our #2. He is our child genius. He loves to learn, and surprise us with his extensive vocabulary. He loves animals and wants to be a trash man when he grows up.
Tripp
Tripp is our #3. He is our gentle giant. He has a humongous grin and a gigantic belly. He aspires to be a food critic and a mama's boy.
Charlie
Charlie is our #4, by one minute. He may be the smallest, but he has the loudest opinions. He is charming and studious. When he grows up he wants to be the president.
8 comments:
Ha! That's great. I bought Shawn a big fat Mossberg 500 12 gauge shotgun for his birthday this for that exact reason- minus the birds, plus the pesky rodents that live up near our house.
So, were you looking out your peep hole while the whole things was going down?? Dare we come over on Monday?! haha! Well, I suppose these are the things we get for paying cheap rent...big ol' snakes and dangerous neighbors. Well, I guess rent isn't really cheap, but cheaper than what someone is paying, I suppose. Also, I am not loving the birdies either. Last year some mama bird set up shop with her little peeps in the tree next to Bayles's window, waking him up almost every morning.
Lindsay, you never cease to make me laugh, even with 2,000 mile separating us! I loved everything about this post. Should we happen to win the lottery or stumble across a large sum of money, I'll be sending you the Cabela's catalog and a blank check for Christmas this year. :)
Boy were you ever raised by red-necks...amazing that we came from the same family. :) HOWEVER...I DID cut down the bird tree in front of my house for that same reason! I hate those stinkin' birds. But, no tree, no birds!
Mya absolutely loves birds. SHe about jumps out of my arms everytime she sees one. The birds come and land on the side of the swimming pool here and she goes crazy! We have one here that sounds exactly like a car alarm!
Ha ha ha! That title alone kills me. It reminds me of the friends when Phoebe is dating that cop & she finally moves in with him & their first morning together he takes out his pistol and shoots the singing bird! Personally, I side with you and the cop. There is nothing worse than being woken up at the crack of dawn by someone...or in this case something...that just thinks morning is wonderful so they have to sing about it!
Ah, but if you lived in Salmon, ID, you would have a gun because it's Idaho.
Dumb Birds. I think you should get a gun for a late mothers day present.
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