Apr 22, 2013

My What Sharp Fangs You Have....

I know some of you may think that I am always calm, cool, and collected. Actually, I don't think anyone has ever thought that.  But, it's what I wish people thought about me, so I really, really try.  I had a horrific parenting moment a few weeks ago. Now that some time has passed,  and I have mostly forgiven myself, I feel like I should share the story for all of you out there like me, that are not always as put together as you try to appear :)

I had to take the babies in to the pediatrician for their RSV shots.  Since it was a quick appointment, I didn't try to find a babysitter for Jack and Luke.  As we arrived at the doctor, I felt like I was herding cats trying to get everyone in the door.  As usual, someone wonderful noticed and held the door for our incoming circus.  I have to give Jack and Luke credit.  They really try hard to behave and be helpful.  Luke held onto one of the car seats that I was carrying, and Jack held onto the other.  They mostly sat quietly in the exam room while the nurse administered the shots. (Lots of bribery and candy were shamelessly used.)  However, this appointment turned into 30 minutes of waiting in a tiny room with four kids.  By the time we were done, Luke shot out of there like he had a fire in his pants.  He ran to the waiting room to start playing with all the toys.  I had to put the babies down by the front door so I could go get him.  I put him down, picked the babies up, and he raced back to the toys.  This happened three times.

Finally, I got all of us outside where we had to cross the parking lot to get to the car.  Luke started racing down the sidewalk yelling, "Can't catch me, mom!  Too fast!" I put the babies down on the sidewalk and chased him down.  I carried him back and told him that he needed to hold onto Tripp's car seat while we crossed the street. I put him down, picked up the babies and he ran back down the sidewalk, shrieking with glee.  Jack, my angelic child, stayed by the babies' car seats while I grabbed Luke....two more times.

I was beginning to panic.  I started to picture Luke racing into the parking lot and getting steamrolled by a minivan. I didn't want to leave the babies on the sidewalk while I ran Luke and Jack to the car, and I certainly didn't want to leave Jack and Luke on the sidewalk while I took the babies to the car.  I wasn't sure what to do.  I needed another arm. Plus, we were still standing right outside the pediatricians office in plain sight of everyone inside. This meant no spanking or yelling (which is about where my frayed nerves and state of mind were).

In a moment of desperation, I leaned down so that it looked like I was going to whisper something to him.....

And I bit him.

On the ear.

I Mike Tyson'd my own child.

It's like I went from Soccer Mom to Vampire in .4 seconds. 

No one watching could have known what I did.  That is until Luke started crying saying, "Ouch! Mom, bit ear.  Ow, mom.  Bite.  Naughty!" (Ironically, we had just borrowed a book from the library a few days earlier called, "Little Dinos Don't Bite".)

I started to shush him in hopes no one could understand his 2 year old garble.  I grumpily told him to grab onto the car seat, which he promptly did, and we walked briskly and safely to the car.  I strapped him in.  I strapped Jack in.  I put the babies in the car.  I put my purse in.  And then a huge wave of guilt came over me.  I crawled into the back seat with Luke.  I put my hands on his cheeks and I kissed his ear.  I apologized for biting him and told him I felt very sorry for being so naughty.  He looked into my eyes and said, "Ok, mom.  Lukey sorry, too." 

The whole way home he sniffed and said, "I love you, too, mom."  It broke my heart.  I couldn't believe what I had done.

Luckily, he has forgiven me and moved on. However, I apologize in advance for when he bites one of your children in nursery.

He learned it from me.


 

Apr 11, 2013

Hi, My Name is Lindsay,

And I'm addicted to sugar.  I've delayed writing this post because I wasn't ready to admit that I have a problem.  But, I hear the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.  So, here I am. 

I'm pretty sure it all started during early morning seminary in high school.  I would get to school after already being up for 3 hours, head straight to the vending machine, and get a Mountain Dew and one of those awful, yet delicious, pink sugar cookies.  Every day.  But, that is when my metabolism still worked and I could eat about 10,000 calories a day and still weigh 97 pounds.

Then I got married and spent most of the last 5 years looking like this....


Yikes.

Now that I'm 30, my metabolism and energy have plummeted.  I shouldn't eat as much sugar as I used to be able to, but I can't stop myself!  Cookies, cake, pie, biscuits, cinnamon rolls, muffins, chocolate, cereal, brownies...you name it, I love it. 

I have tried quitting.  About a hundred times.  It lasts about a day before the withdrawal-sugar-shakes are too much to handle.  I get headaches and become moody.  Okay, maybe I'm moody anyway, but moody without chocolate is scarier. 

So, I need help.  Is there a 12 step program for sugar addicts?  Do they hand out little coins when you are sugar free for 28 days? 

I want to lose 10 pounds.  I know I can't do it without cutting out most of my sugar.  So, I have diligently finished most of my kids Easter candy so it isn't here to tempt me.  I have sworn off baking and early morning donut runs. Now I need ideas.  How do you stick to it?  What are some good work outs that I can do in 30 minutes or less (that's about how much time I have to myself each day).  And how do I reward myself for good behavior?  I usually use chocolate, so I need ideas for that, too.

Help me.  Please.  I only have one pair of pants that still fit. 

Apr 3, 2013

Free the Ta Tas!!

When I was pregnant with Jack I had a dream.  You know the kind.  The really terrifying pregnancy dreams.  In my dream, I had just given birth to a 20 pound baby.  The baby was crying and obviously hungry.  I held the baby closer to try breastfeeding for the first time when suddenly, the baby's neck grew long, the head morphed into a plant, and there before me was a Venus Fly Trap.  Ready to nurse.  Horrific fangs and all.

This was my subconscious letting me know how I was really feeling about breastfeeding.  In all honesty, I almost didn't even try.  But, Jack was born and I decided to give it a go.  I hated it.  Every single minute.  I hated the lactation nurse feeling me up trying to get things together, I hated having to excuse myself to a private room and miss out on everything while the little parasite went to work, and I hated feeling like my body wasn't mine.  Jack and I both threw in the towel at 4 months.

When Luke was born I decided that I would try it again.  Just to see if I was being a baby about it the first time.  I wanted to make sure that I really, truly hated it.  Plus, he was born in the winter and I figured some extra antibodies from me couldn't hurt.  Luke was a better nurser than Jack, but once again, I hated it.  I hated being the only one that could get up at night with the baby.  I hated trying to breastfeed while I had a toddler climbing all over me.  Again, we only made it 4 months.

When I found out I was pregnant with the twins I cried when I thought about nursing two babies.  Then I cried harder when I calculated the cost of formula for two babies.  I decided that I wouldn't make the final decision until they were born.  I would possibly try nursing two to see how it went and if I hated it, I had no problem quitting.  But, when they were born so early, breastfeeding wasn't even an option.  They were too little and didn't have the physical capabilities to even try.  So, I pumped.  I pumped every 3 hours from the moment they were born.  I had more than enough milk for the twins.  We had to buy a deep freezer. I pumped about 20 ounces every 3 hours. The NICU nurses joked that I could feed the whole NICU.  Around the time the twins would have been 35 weeks, the nurses asked me if I wanted to start breastfeeding them.  I said no.  A firm no.  I had made the decision.  Pumping was a pain, but way easier.  By the time the babies came home, I had filled 7 cubic feet of freezer and was dumping whatever they didn't take.  Then 5 days later we found out Charlie was allergic to milk protein and couldn't have breast milk in any form. 

So, I continued to pump for Tripp.  Just half time since he didn't need all that I made.  Last month we started noticing signs that Tripp is becoming allergic to my milk as well.  Makes sense since they are identical.  I stopped pumping completely and started him on the freezer milk because there is no way in h#$@ I am going to let that milk go to waste.  The hours I could have been sleeping while they were in the NICU!!  The annoying sound of that pump!  No way.  He is drinking every last drop before that allergy totally kicks in. 

This is when I decided that mother nature is a real B.  Ironic that I make more than enough milk for quadruplets, and my kids are allergic.

So, the moral of this incredibly long and probably inappropriate post is that my boobs are free.  Since these are my last babies, I am celebrating that I never have to agonize over the "to nurse or not to nurse" question, I never have to feel guilty around La Leche League-ers again, I never have to take off my shirt in weird places to feed a baby, I never have to put ice packs on my boobs, and I can sleep on my stomach again.  All night long.

Sweet relief, the Ta Tas (or what used to look like boobs, but now resemble raisins) are free!! 




The Mother Load

 I have had a heck of a time trying to blog.  Honestly, I have had down time, but no brain power to be witty :) So, apologies to my far away friends and family that haven't seen pictures in a while!

Valentines Day was so fun this year.  The big boys really got into it and we had a great time.  The babies chose to spend the day snuggling each other.  Guess they were their own Valentine's :)


Jack and Luke decorated our front door for Jay.  They were so proud and it turned out really cute.  However, that pink marker that Luke is holding?  I couldn't get that off his face for almost a week.


People who are twins keep telling me not to dress them the same and to let them have their own identities, but gosh darn it, how darling is it when they match!?!  So cute.  They can have their own identities later when they actually have an opinion about their clothes.   Plus, check out how Trippw's buttons are stretching around that cute fat belly!


We finally had to move the babies to their own cribs.  I would put them side by side to sleep and go in later to find this.  After a few good head knocks, we decided to separate them.  They didn't like it at first, but now they are really sleeping better!  Wahoo!!


They do smile, but I can never catch it on camera.  As soon as they see the camera, they just go completely blank.  Haha!


But, even no smile is so cute.


Here I am with all of my boys.  I'm not sure Luke understands that I am a girl.  He is so used to all of the boys in the house.  He walked in on me changing the other day and asked where my "weeny" was.  Time to lock my bedroom door.



We all got the flu.  Like the flu you get the shot for, the kills-babies-flu.  Charlie started it, Tripp ended up in the hospital for a night because his Oxygen was low and his heart rate was so high, and Luke got the sickest of any child I have ever had.  Poor things.  Hopefully it is done and we can all move on.  Thank goodness for good doctors, priesthood blessings, and Lysol. 


Notice the babies red rimmed eyes above?  This was after they were better.  They looked terrible while they were sick.

Below is Tripp enjoying his hits off the Nebulizer.   I am going to have to watch him closely during his teenage years.


We got one decent snow storm.  The boys were in heaven playing in the snow.  Actually, by the time they were playing in it, it was raining and everything was melting.  Gotta love the spring!


Easter was a hit.  Just for the candy.  Jack told me that the Easter bunny wasn't real because he knew the Easter bunny at the mall really had a guy inside.  Haha!


We took all the kids to the neighborhood egg hunt, where all of the eggs were already found.  Kids are vultures. 



Baby toes are the cutest.  Double baby toes?  Downright adorable. 


Charlie and Tripp.  Look at that head control!  They have physical therapy 3 x a month to help them catch up with their peers.  They are pretty behind for 5 month olds, but for their adjusted age (almost 3 months) they are doing really great and are right on track!


Part of me is really dying inside that I will never get to see how cute a daughter of ours would be.  Not enough to have another baby though :)  I think Tripp's face is my favorite in this picture. (Far right)


Jack wants to keep the twins and give Luke away.  He is always trying to find someone to take him.  But, I really love Luke, so we are going to keep him :)


Feb 11, 2013

Sink or Swim

I think everyone has times in their lives when they feel like they are drowning.  It takes everything you have just to keep your head above water.  There isn't anything pretty about it.  It is purely survival.  Well folks, we are in survival mode here.  Having twins is not like having two babies.  It is like having seventeen of them.  I don't know how to explain it, but two babies is exponentially harder than one.  Plus a two year old and a four year old?  Infinitely hard.

This morning I think takes the cake.  I hate Monday mornings anyway.  The weekend is over, Jay has to go back to work, and we have to wait five whole days for Saturday to come back.  The babies night sleep is still pretty scattered.  Sometimes they sleep great, other times barely at all.  Of course last night, both boys had issues with reflux and spent part of the night fussing.  Jay left for work looking like a zombie, and I was so tired I knocked over the trash can, banged my head on the dryer door, and spilled breast milk all over the counter.

Luke is two.  Some say tender twos, some say terrible twos.  I would agree with both. He has been toying with the idea of potty training.  I have been putting him off because we just don't need another thing to keep track of right now.  Well, this morning he refused to put a diaper on.  He had to have underwear.  I decided that we might as well give it a shot since we will be home for the next month anyway.  Forty minutes and two potty breaks later, I was folding laundry when I heard Luke say, "Ahhh, wet!  Bummer."  He had peed his pants.  We felt sorry for ourselves for a minute and then he agreed to wear a diaper.  A little later, Tripp was upstairs fast asleep from his difficult night and I had just settled down to give Charlie a bottle. Luke ran up to me and yelled, "Poop!"  I told him to go ahead in his diaper and I would change him after Charlie's bottle. 

This is about to get really gross.  Proceed with caution.

Somehow, Luke pulled his diaper sideways and suddenly the poop was sliding down his pant leg.  He started panicking.  I had to hurry to put Charlie down, get over to Luke, and help him get out of his pants.  Suddenly, Charlie is screaming because he was in the middle of his bottle, then Tripp starts screaming over the monitor, Luke is freaking out because there is poop on his leg, I am trying to wipe poop off of his foot before he puts it on the carpet, and Jack is dry heaving over the trash can.

I know what you are thinking.  Funny scene from an "everything goes wrong" movie?  Yep.

So I race Luke up to the bathtub.  I start the water and rinse him off, hand him some toys and put Jack in charge of sitting with him in the bathroom.  Next I scrub myself down so that I can rescue Tripp from his disturbed sleep.  Then I head back down to finish still-screaming-Charlie's bottle.  I got Charlie and Tripp settled, finished Luke's bath, and then we all had some Skittles for our hard work.

Those of you that told me that you have always wanted twins are crazy.  Downright mental. Those of you that told me it was easier to have your children close together in age...that was mean. And for those of you that think I can't handle this...watch me.  I may not get both my hair and makeup done on the same day. I may smell like spit up. I may even be living off of Hershey's kisses and beef jerky, but I will rock this and we will all survive.  And my final goal is to make it look so easy, that all of you suckers try it and then I can laugh at you. :)  Just kidding.  Sort of.

Now for the update, because we all know you just want to see pictures of the babies.

Our 4 boys :)



This picture was hard to get because Tripp (our resident fatty) kept trying to eat Charlie's hand.   I would post the video because it is so cute, but for some reason I can't upload video anymore to blogger.  Ideas to fix that, anyone?


Can you believe the cheeks on these kids?  I always wanted a fat baby. Charlie is long and skinny like Jack and Luke were, but Tripp is a short roly-poly.  Love the rolls. Tripp is still on breast milk with a fortifier in it to up the calories.  Hence, the fatness.  Charlie we found is allergic to milk and soy protein and has to be on a hypoallergenic formula.  He is allergic to the fortifier, so he is growing a little slower.  So far it hasn't made a huge difference in his temperament.  I think he may just have a more sensitive personality :)


Jack is their biggest fan.  He can calm them down quicker than I can.  If I am holding a baby and Jack walks by, their eyes follow him like a hawk.  


The babies have a pretty sweet little bond.  They sleep in the same bed.  I have them on opposite sides of the crib, but by the time they wake me up for feeds, they have wiggled out of their swaddles and are snuggled next to each other. 


We have had minimal snow much to my big boys dismay.  The day it did snow was about 18 degrees.  We braved the weather for all of 10 minutes :)  It took way longer than that to actually get their snow clothes on. 



Check out the jowls :)   Jay told me that our babies aren't cute yet.  I suppose he is right, but I still think they are darling :)


This is my view for pretty much 80% of my day.  I am getting good at the two baby thing.


And just because I can...

Tripp on the left, Charlie on the right.  Charlie cries his feelings, and Tripp eats his feelings.  :)






Lastly,  I recently got my haircut.  I went in hoping to look like this....


And came out looking like this...


This is when I am grateful to stay home all day with my kids :) 

Jan 6, 2013

All is Well

 It feels like we have fallen off the map lately.   We have had such a busy month that I'm not sure where to start for an update!  Plus, my brain is running on empty.  So if this is a little scattered, just pretend to follow. 

The babies had a busy month in the hospital.  They learned to take bottles, and they got fat.  Both babies are pretty anemic which is common for preemies.  They had a few blood transfusions which helped them to eat better and breathe better.  Tripp is the fatty of the two.  He is a pretty eager eater.  He gained a little faster and learned to suck better.  Once he could take all of his feedings by bottle for 48 hours, we could bring him home.  We were really nervous to bring him home.  Something about being responsible for a NICU graduate was a little overwhelming.  We got to bring him home on Dec. 20th.  Just in time for Christmas! 

Here is a picture of his last few minutes in his hospital bed.


 We got him dressed in his Christmas best and got him ready to go!  The nurses all lined up to say goodbye to him and that's when I lost it.  I was excited to take him home.  I was sad to leave Charlie up there all alone and I was so grateful to all of the amazing nurses and doctors that basically saved our babies.  It was a very bittersweet moment.



The nurses warned us that once a baby leaves the hospital for home one of two things would happen.  The changes from hospital to home are so stressful for them that they will either cry constantly or sleep and sleep and sleep to shut all of the stresses out.  Guess which one Tripp did?   He slept for the first hour....and then cried the rest of the night.  Not fun.  But, to make up for it, he has been an angel ever since.


Jack was so happy to finally have Tripp home.  Tripp was the baby he claimed from the beginning.  He dotes on him constantly.  It is pretty precious.  


Through all of the excitement, we remembered to have Christmas.  Jack and Luke were so excited Christmas morning!  I have to say, Christmas is about 100 times more fun with kids. 

Luke loved the chocolate more than the toys.  He just kept shoving his mouth full.  A child after my own heart :) 


Jack's one request for Christmas was a Transformer.  Every present that he opened before the Transformer was a bust.  He opened his Santa presents and I said, "Jack!  What did Santa bring you?"  His reply was, "Well, I'll tell you one thing, it isn't a Transformer."  Good thing Grandma delivered in the Transformer department :)  Ha!


Luke loves Chuck the Dump Truck.  Every day when he wakes up he begs to watch Chuck.  It takes a lot of effort to get him to do anything else first.   He was pretty pleased to get a real dump truck :)


Now for Charlie....

Charlie runs on his own schedule.  There is no pushing him.  We really tried to get him home for Christmas, but he wasn't feeding well and had his own agenda.  He is going to be our child that sets his own pace.  I am going to have to learn to be patient.  Good luck to me :)

We finally got to bring him home December 30th.  Just in time for the new year!   We were so excited to reunite the babies.  I don't think they had a clue.  But, to see all of my boys in one room was one of my favorite moments.  To have my little family all together was magical.








The babies are both over 7 pounds!  They are growing great and they have been such good babies.  We have about a million doctors appointments over the next year.   Both boys have an ASD which is a hole between the atriums in their hearts.  So, we will be followed fairly closely by a Cardiologist.  They also have funny shaped red blood cells so we will see a Hematologist and a Geneticist.  This should be a very educational year :) 

The babies immune systems are still very immature.  We are on lock down in the house until March or April.  So, the bishop came to our house and we were able to bless the babies on New Years Eve.   It has been so wonderful to have them home.  Jack and Luke are fascinated by them.  We are sleep deprived and the house is a disaster, but we are so perfectly content :)



Dec 9, 2012

Lukey Doo Turns Two!

 Sweet Luke turned two this week!  He is such a joy in our home.  He is a gentle soul and has a very sensitive little heart.  However, he may be the most stubborn child I've ever met.   He chats all day long and actually speaks very clearly.  I love this age when their personality really starts to blossom.  We are so lucky to have him and I can't wait to see what he does this year!