There are a few things that I have on my Christmas list each year. New boots, a horse and a gun. In that order. Recently I have discovered that the gun is not just a want, but a need. I am not a gun control freak. In fact, I was born with a Cabela's catalog in my hand and feel that if you know what you are doing, they can be quite useful. Now for the reasons I need a gun....
1. The birds here start at 3:45 am. Not kidding. They chirp, they sing, they do mating calls, they basically make me use a lot more swear words than I like to admit. I don't like birds anyway. I think they are creepy. I think they are too fast, and I think they are show-offs (I'm a little sensitive about not being able to fly) I especially don't like them at 4 am. Here enters the gun. Just a few shots should scare them away and allow me a little more sleep. Am I wrong?
(******Note: If Virginia would cut down some trees, that would certainly help also. Then they would have to live somewhere else....but I digress...)
2. If we lived in a tiny town like Salmon, ID., I wouldn't feel as much necessity for a gun. However, we live in the outskirts of DC in a miniature ghetto. This morning 5 police officers broke down the door to the apartment across the hallway....guns out and ready. They brought out our neighbor in handcuffs in his underwear. While we found this a mite amusing, I realize our neighbors are nothing like Mr. Rogers. So, a gun for a little protection may not be the worst idea. I feel like my candlesticks would be ok for hand to hand combat, but a gun would be better for the scare factor.
3. Lastly, if the world ever does come to an end and the grocery stores are empty and everyone is looting, I would like to feel that I could keep my family meat-stocked in the wild :) Turkey and pheasant mostly....thus helping the bird overpopulation.
And there you have it. So, if any of you know Santa....or a Cabela's rep....you know what to tell them :)