Why Can't They Stay Little Forever?

 A few weeks ago I spilled water on our laptop.  I managed to fry the entire computer and destroy every picture we have taken for the past 3 years.  That's right.  THREE years.  Now before you lecture me on backing things up...it was on my to do list.  My to do list that has been ignored for the past year.  Sigh.  So, thank goodness I have kept a blog and have a few pictures of our kids.  I am devastated.  If you have any pictures of my kids, send 'em over.  And pray for our computer genius friend trying to recover any data he can from our old computer.

Luckily Maryland has had a cooler summer than usual.  (So I've heard.  It still feels hotter than ever if you ask me.)  We have enjoyed a few rainy days.  The fun thing about rain here that doesn't happen in Colorado, is that the rain is warm!  It kind of feels like a hot shower.  However, it doesn't make it cooler outside.  Just more muggy and disgusting.

I love this picture.  Mirror image :)  I will put the babies in front of a mirror and they will giggle and reach out to their reflection.  I'm not sure that they understand that it is them yet, and not the other twin :)  I am amazed at how connected they are.  It is almost like they think the other one is part of them, like an extra appendage or something. 

Jay and I got to go on a real live date last week!!  We went to a wedding and I got to wear a pretty dress and everything!  It was like heaven!  Then I spilled red sauce on my dress and didn't have any of my kids around to blame :) Thanks to our friends, Jen and V, for braving our busy brood for the night :)

I never wanted twins.  Now that I have them, I would never want one at a time again.  It is so fun to get to the cute stages and get to see it twice!  Charlie has been on solids for a few months.  Tripp was resistant and did not want any part of it.  I had an occupational therapist come check him out to make sure his oral motor skills were ok.  (Being tube fed for so long can cause some food and eating aversions.) She came and he showed off and ate like a champ.  I swear he stuck his tongue out at me and giggled.  He is fine and eating like crazy. 

Charlie's steroids cleared up his GI issues and also really enhanced his performance levels.  The kid is crawling everywhere, pulling up on things, climbing over everything, and getting hurt left and right by falling.   He's a menace. 

Tripp is happy to hang out on his blanket and chew on things.  His motivation to move is not quite the same.  Finally.  I got a lazy one. YES!

Jack started Kindergarten today.  He was pretty nervous to go.  We pulled up to the school and he asked if he could sit in the car with me where it was quiet for just a few more minutes.  I started crying like an idiot and now I'm sure he is going to get made fun of for having such a bawl bag mom. 

It has been 5 hours and I am missing him like crazy.  He has been my constant companion for 5 years.  I feel a little naked.  Like I forgot to wear a shirt today.  I think he took a little part of my heart to school.  He is such a great kid and I'm so proud of who he is growing up to be.  He is going to love school.  And I am going to survive :)

Luke was really sad when I came home without Jack.  To make ourselves feel better, we tagged along with our friends to the farm.  It was a great distraction.  

Frankenbaby

It is about 214 degrees in Maryland today with at least 400% humidity, so we are hiding in our cave house, with the lights off and the blinds shut.  I think I used to enjoy the summer heat more when I was a teenager and could lounge around at the pool all day slathering myself in baby oil.  Now I'm 30, my wrinkles are getting worse, I'm pretty sure I already have skin cancer (no joke, I have an appt. with the dermatologist next week), and it terrifies me to take my kids to the pool by myself.  How am I supposed to keep 4 kids from drowning all at once?  No thanks.  I keep telling myself that my kids are having a great childhood, but I guess we will see what their therapist says when they are 30. 

Tripp and Charlie had their 9 month appointment this week!  Can you believe it?  They have been such happy little things.  I almost don't remember the months they were in the NICU.  Did that actually happen? Tripp has gone from 2 lb. 9 oz. and 15.5 in. long to 15 lb. 8 oz. and 26 in.! Charlie started at 2 lb. 6 oz and 15 in. and is now 14 lb. 9 oz. and 26.5 in.!  I kind of miss their itty bitty squirrely selves :)

Charlie is still having some issues with colitis from his milk allergy, so he got to meet the president of the University of Maryland Baltimore this week!  He is a pediatric gastroenterologist that still practices while he runs the University.  Impressive! Charlie has about 3 more weeks to clear up his problems (with the help of massive amounts of steroids) or he has to have a couple of scopes done.  Poor kid. 

And Tripp sure caused quite the stir this week.  He had to have an EEG yesterday to rule out the possibility of seizures.  He was so brave and cooperative!  The technician got him done in an hour which is unheard of.  I was so proud :)  He was so cute and helpless attached to wires and wrapped in gauze.  He looked like a mini Frankenstein.  I spent most of the week worried and scared, and we heard today that everything came back completely normal!  Whew!  I love news like that :)

He has a little tumor by his eye that the Dr. is watching, but other than that, he is doing great!

 

If you haven't met the babies yet, I'm sorry.  I'm pretty sure they have hit their peak cuteness.  They couldn't possibly get cuter.

The big boys continue to help me each day.  Jack entertains the babies, cleans up their spit-up, and makes sure they don't swallow legos.  Tripp is still his favorite, but Charlie is quickly catching up :)

Jay and Luke are getting pretty inseparable.  Soon, all the boys will be going camping with dad, and I will be left out feeling sorry for myself.  Yeah right.  I will be at the spa getting a massage and then going shoe shopping!

Our one picture from the 4th of July.  The babies are terrified of loud noises, so we put the kids to bed early and cleaned our carpets.  I know.  We are the epitome of fun.  But, we are realistic in our 4th of July capabilities :)

We were supposed to get the huge brood of cicadas. We waited and waited and waited and they never came.  I hate bugs, so I was pleased. We found one regular annual cicada.  The boys loved it!  I let it stay in the bug jar on the counter for 1/2 day, then I made them let it go. 

My mad Stackadoo building skillz.

The babies have a new skill, too!  They can hold their own bottles!  I can't believe how much I am loving this!  They will only eat lying on the floor, so my back was getting pretty hunched leaning over them all day long.  Now, they are happily independent, and I am happy looking less like Quasimodo each day.

My sister sent these onesies for the babies :)  I thought it was appropriate that they came while I was working on my blog :)

Don't Blink!

 I feel like our life is going in fast forward right now.  I really lose track of time, and then suddenly months have gone by.  I went to write in the boys' journals thinking I hadn't done it in a month or so...hmmm, it was actually 5 months.  Then I realized they are boys and most likely they won't care if I kept a journal for them or not.  I think I do it more for me than for them.  Anyway, that was a weird tangent.

Back to the blog.  Jack started Blastball in April.  Basically it is T-Ball, but way more simple.  Everyone bats, everyone runs to first, then they switch to the outfield.  That is the whole game.  Jack was so cute playing.  He was the oldest one on his team and sometimes I think he got a little bored.  Luckily next year, he will be old enough for T-Ball.

During games, Jay either helped coach, or chased Luke around.  This is pretty much what I do wherever we go.  Home...Blastball...church...the mall....I feed babies.  

 Jack carries his trophy everywhere.  He won't let anyone but the babies hold it.  Haha!

Mother's Day was fantastic!  Jay made me creme brulee pancakes, the kids made me cards, I got to sleep in.....It was fabulous.  We took our annual Mother's Day picture where I realized that I have passed my "Chandler smile" on to each of my boys.  We are a photogenic bunch! Ha!

Jack turned 5!  I can't believe how fast that went.  I know parents always say that, but it really is true.  We got him a fish tank with 3 fish.  He named them Grow, Mick (as in Mouse, not Jagger), and Stinkin' Linkin'.  Sadly, Mick and Grow have passed on.  Jack wasn't even sad.  I'm a little worried by how little their deaths affected him. 

Jay took the boys to the zoo for Jack's birthday.  I stayed home with the babies so that they could actually have fun and not have to stop and feed babies.  :)  They had a great time, and I enjoyed my peaceful day at home with only 2 kids.

 

 

 The babies are growing like weeds and really starting to move around.  Our physical therapist comes three times a month and shows me how to make the most of their movements so that they can catch up with their peers.  They are rolling and doing push-ups, they are starting to discover their feet, and they can hold and suck on toys.  I know it doesn't seem like too much, but for them, we are very proud :)

Tripp proved to me that I do have to strap them into their chairs.

Charlie finally has enough core strength to do Jay's favorite trick.  Tripp is still working on his abs...

 For Memorial Day, we dressed everyone up in red, white, and blue. (Tripp was obviously way more excited than the rest of us about his clothes.) We planned on going down to the cemetery at the Naval Academy in Annapolis, but then we pictured Jack and Luke running around on all of the graves and jumping off of headstones, and the babies screaming, and then we decided we might try that another year.

 

So, we got ice cream from the ice cream truck instead.  (Jack dresses himself.  Yes, people look at him like he is an orphan.)

The big boys continue to be entertained by the babies.  I am really excited for how much fun they will be having together in a few years.  I really can't wait for that!

 

This past weekend, friends of ours invited us to their lake.  It was so fun!  The water was warm, the weather was perfect, the cicadas were mostly dead.  

The babies enjoyed being beach bums and sleeping under the umbrella.  I don't think I've seen anything cuter than two naked babies sleeping on the sand :)

Luke had a really bad attitude about everything that day, until we forced him into the lake.  Then he decided it was his best day ever.  If only his pants stayed on...

 Lastly, we celebrated Father's Day.  (Mush alert) Jay is an incredible father.  He does so much behind the scenes for us.  He dutifully goes to work every day and comes home happy and ready to wrestle.  He makes sure to have one on one time with each child and with me each day.  He folds laundry, he washes bottles, he rubs my neck, he goes on chocolate runs when I run out, he teaches our children, he wakes up every night with me to feed the babies, and he is just so dang handsome.  We love our dad!

Whew!  That took forever.  See you in 6 months when I get around to this again.

Ocean City

 We were so excited to have my parents come visit in May!  The last few visits we have had from our parents were during our stressful time in the NICU and right after the babies came home, so we were really looking forward to actually having fun with visitors.

We decided to head to Ocean City, MD.  I had been dying for some beach time, and there was a huge classic car show for my dad and the boys to enjoy.  We stayed right on the boardwalk which was so fun.  The cars revved loudly cruising the streets and I'm pretty sure my dad was in heaven.  Funny that I didn't get any pictures of all the cars.

 Jay felt this thing brush by him while he was in the ocean, so he reached down and caught it and dragged it to shore.  I don't know about you, but when I feel something brush by me in the ocean,  the last thing I would do is think about catching it! Ha!  It tried to spear him with his tail, but luckily Jay is quick and dodged the point. 

After catching the huge Horseshoe crab, the boys decided to dig for harmless sand crabs.  They found tons of them and had the time of their lives. 

Luke loves anything creepy crawly. 

My parents were wonderful and helped entertain our very hot and grumpy babies.  The babies did not really enjoy their first beach trip.  Party poopers.  And my dad may be the only person I know to wear jeans and wool socks to the beach :)

The boys had a sand throwing war.  I don't think I got all the sand off of them for 3 baths. 

We walked the boardwalk for a while, but the babies needed a bottle break.  Vacationing is going to be so much more fun when we can just hand them a juice box.  

We had a great time with my parents.  They enjoyed spoiling our kids (and us!) and we love every time they come to visit :)

My What Sharp Fangs You Have....

I know some of you may think that I am always calm, cool, and collected. Actually, I don't think anyone has ever thought that.  But, it's what I wish people thought about me, so I really, really try.  I had a horrific parenting moment a few weeks ago. Now that some time has passed,  and I have mostly forgiven myself, I feel like I should share the story for all of you out there like me, that are not always as put together as you try to appear :)

I had to take the babies in to the pediatrician for their RSV shots.  Since it was a quick appointment, I didn't try to find a babysitter for Jack and Luke.  As we arrived at the doctor, I felt like I was herding cats trying to get everyone in the door.  As usual, someone wonderful noticed and held the door for our incoming circus.  I have to give Jack and Luke credit.  They really try hard to behave and be helpful.  Luke held onto one of the car seats that I was carrying, and Jack held onto the other.  They mostly sat quietly in the exam room while the nurse administered the shots. (Lots of bribery and candy were shamelessly used.)  However, this appointment turned into 30 minutes of waiting in a tiny room with four kids.  By the time we were done, Luke shot out of there like he had a fire in his pants.  He ran to the waiting room to start playing with all the toys.  I had to put the babies down by the front door so I could go get him.  I put him down, picked the babies up, and he raced back to the toys.  This happened three times.

Finally, I got all of us outside where we had to cross the parking lot to get to the car.  Luke started racing down the sidewalk yelling, "Can't catch me, mom!  Too fast!" I put the babies down on the sidewalk and chased him down.  I carried him back and told him that he needed to hold onto Tripp's car seat while we crossed the street. I put him down, picked up the babies and he ran back down the sidewalk, shrieking with glee.  Jack, my angelic child, stayed by the babies' car seats while I grabbed Luke....two more times.

I was beginning to panic.  I started to picture Luke racing into the parking lot and getting steamrolled by a minivan. I didn't want to leave the babies on the sidewalk while I ran Luke and Jack to the car, and I certainly didn't want to leave Jack and Luke on the sidewalk while I took the babies to the car.  I wasn't sure what to do.  I needed another arm. Plus, we were still standing right outside the pediatricians office in plain sight of everyone inside. This meant no spanking or yelling (which is about where my frayed nerves and state of mind were).

In a moment of desperation, I leaned down so that it looked like I was going to whisper something to him.....

And I bit him.

On the ear.

I Mike Tyson'd my own child.

It's like I went from Soccer Mom to Vampire in .4 seconds. 

No one watching could have known what I did.  That is until Luke started crying saying, "Ouch! Mom, bit ear.  Ow, mom.  Bite.  Naughty!" (Ironically, we had just borrowed a book from the library a few days earlier called, "Little Dinos Don't Bite".)

I started to shush him in hopes no one could understand his 2 year old garble.  I grumpily told him to grab onto the car seat, which he promptly did, and we walked briskly and safely to the car.  I strapped him in.  I strapped Jack in.  I put the babies in the car.  I put my purse in.  And then a huge wave of guilt came over me.  I crawled into the back seat with Luke.  I put my hands on his cheeks and I kissed his ear.  I apologized for biting him and told him I felt very sorry for being so naughty.  He looked into my eyes and said, "Ok, mom.  Lukey sorry, too." 

The whole way home he sniffed and said, "I love you, too, mom."  It broke my heart.  I couldn't believe what I had done.

Luckily, he has forgiven me and moved on. However, I apologize in advance for when he bites one of your children in nursery.

He learned it from me.


 

Hi, My Name is Lindsay,

And I'm addicted to sugar.  I've delayed writing this post because I wasn't ready to admit that I have a problem.  But, I hear the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.  So, here I am. 

I'm pretty sure it all started during early morning seminary in high school.  I would get to school after already being up for 3 hours, head straight to the vending machine, and get a Mountain Dew and one of those awful, yet delicious, pink sugar cookies.  Every day.  But, that is when my metabolism still worked and I could eat about 10,000 calories a day and still weigh 97 pounds.

Then I got married and spent most of the last 5 years looking like this....

Yikes.

Now that I'm 30, my metabolism and energy have plummeted.  I shouldn't eat as much sugar as I used to be able to, but I can't stop myself!  Cookies, cake, pie, biscuits, cinnamon rolls, muffins, chocolate, cereal, brownies...you name it, I love it. 

I have tried quitting.  About a hundred times.  It lasts about a day before the withdrawal-sugar-shakes are too much to handle.  I get headaches and become moody.  Okay, maybe I'm moody anyway, but moody without chocolate is scarier. 

So, I need help.  Is there a 12 step program for sugar addicts?  Do they hand out little coins when you are sugar free for 28 days? 

I want to lose 10 pounds.  I know I can't do it without cutting out most of my sugar.  So, I have diligently finished most of my kids Easter candy so it isn't here to tempt me.  I have sworn off baking and early morning donut runs. Now I need ideas.  How do you stick to it?  What are some good work outs that I can do in 30 minutes or less (that's about how much time I have to myself each day).  And how do I reward myself for good behavior?  I usually use chocolate, so I need ideas for that, too.

Help me.  Please.  I only have one pair of pants that still fit. 

Free the Ta Tas!!

When I was pregnant with Jack I had a dream.  You know the kind.  The really terrifying pregnancy dreams.  In my dream, I had just given birth to a 20 pound baby.  The baby was crying and obviously hungry.  I held the baby closer to try breastfeeding for the first time when suddenly, the baby's neck grew long, the head morphed into a plant, and there before me was a Venus Fly Trap.  Ready to nurse.  Horrific fangs and all.

This was my subconscious letting me know how I was really feeling about breastfeeding.  In all honesty, I almost didn't even try.  But, Jack was born and I decided to give it a go.  I hated it.  Every single minute.  I hated the lactation nurse feeling me up trying to get things together, I hated having to excuse myself to a private room and miss out on everything while the little parasite went to work, and I hated feeling like my body wasn't mine.  Jack and I both threw in the towel at 4 months.

When Luke was born I decided that I would try it again.  Just to see if I was being a baby about it the first time.  I wanted to make sure that I really, truly hated it.  Plus, he was born in the winter and I figured some extra antibodies from me couldn't hurt.  Luke was a better nurser than Jack, but once again, I hated it.  I hated being the only one that could get up at night with the baby.  I hated trying to breastfeed while I had a toddler climbing all over me.  Again, we only made it 4 months.

When I found out I was pregnant with the twins I cried when I thought about nursing two babies.  Then I cried harder when I calculated the cost of formula for two babies.  I decided that I wouldn't make the final decision until they were born.  I would possibly try nursing two to see how it went and if I hated it, I had no problem quitting.  But, when they were born so early, breastfeeding wasn't even an option.  They were too little and didn't have the physical capabilities to even try.  So, I pumped.  I pumped every 3 hours from the moment they were born.  I had more than enough milk for the twins.  We had to buy a deep freezer. I pumped about 20 ounces every 3 hours. The NICU nurses joked that I could feed the whole NICU.  Around the time the twins would have been 35 weeks, the nurses asked me if I wanted to start breastfeeding them.  I said no.  A firm no.  I had made the decision.  Pumping was a pain, but way easier.  By the time the babies came home, I had filled 7 cubic feet of freezer and was dumping whatever they didn't take.  Then 5 days later we found out Charlie was allergic to milk protein and couldn't have breast milk in any form. 

So, I continued to pump for Tripp.  Just half time since he didn't need all that I made.  Last month we started noticing signs that Tripp is becoming allergic to my milk as well.  Makes sense since they are identical.  I stopped pumping completely and started him on the freezer milk because there is no way in h#$@ I am going to let that milk go to waste.  The hours I could have been sleeping while they were in the NICU!!  The annoying sound of that pump!  No way.  He is drinking every last drop before that allergy totally kicks in. 

This is when I decided that mother nature is a real B.  Ironic that I make more than enough milk for quadruplets, and my kids are allergic.

So, the moral of this incredibly long and probably inappropriate post is that my boobs are free.  Since these are my last babies, I am celebrating that I never have to agonize over the "to nurse or not to nurse" question, I never have to feel guilty around La Leche League-ers again, I never have to take off my shirt in weird places to feed a baby, I never have to put ice packs on my boobs, and I can sleep on my stomach again.  All night long.

Sweet relief, the Ta Tas (or what used to look like boobs, but now resemble raisins) are free!!